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What if I end things Now?

Years ago, as I lay on the hospital bed, tired and worn out,I thought of ending things. "Why suffer every day when I can just suffer once and put an end to it forever?"  Then I watch my mother sitting beside me, silently praying when she thinks I'm sleeping. She checks my medicine and stands long ques to buy me pills doctors prescribe.  And I'd think - "Maybe after she passes, I'll end it! She wouldn't bare if she loses me to my own mind after she fought with me to survive the cancer". The cancer's long gone, and I sit alone at night, unable to sleep. And I'd think, "I should just do it now". I'd think "maybe after I travel the world" If my life was a movie, I'd walk out after the first 30 minutes. But the movie lasts a whole 2 hours. So what if the first 30 minutes were boring, depressing? You have the rest of your movie! If the protagonist kills herself, that would be a terrible ending. So the protagonist waits,b...
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So, I never went to the Zoo again


 Remember the time you visited the zoo for the first time? All those different animals and birds right in front of you. Magical, wasn't it? Years later I got cancer and the doctor told me I should be extra careful. Don't go outside much, you have a higher chance of getting an infection. So I did. I stayed in my house most of the time. I saw my siblings, cousins, and my friends go out with others, having the time of their lives. And I thought ''How come I underestimated this all this time?''

The smaller things in life seemed to be big deals. Dreams even. I wish I could walk out and soak up all the sunlight. I wish I could go to the grocery store and buy things for myself. I wish I could ride the bike and feel the wind in my hair (I was bald). "Man...I wish I could get out of this house and walk around and touch some trees" 

"I wish my hair curled up once again" (I hated my curly hair)

Yeah...Long story short. I survived cancer. And I never wanted to see animals locked up for entertainment. I never went to the zoo again.

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