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What if I end things Now?

Years ago, as I lay on the hospital bed, tired and worn out,I thought of ending things. "Why suffer every day when I can just suffer once and put an end to it forever?"  Then I watch my mother sitting beside me, silently praying when she thinks I'm sleeping. She checks my medicine and stands long ques to buy me pills doctors prescribe.  And I'd think - "Maybe after she passes, I'll end it! She wouldn't bare if she loses me to my own mind after she fought with me to survive the cancer". The cancer's long gone, and I sit alone at night, unable to sleep. And I'd think, "I should just do it now". I'd think "maybe after I travel the world" If my life was a movie, I'd walk out after the first 30 minutes. But the movie lasts a whole 2 hours. So what if the first 30 minutes were boring, depressing? You have the rest of your movie! If the protagonist kills herself, that would be a terrible ending. So the protagonist waits,b...

The Bet


There was this long line of girls. Standing, talking to each other. School re-opened after 2 months and there was much catching up to do! I stood behind one of my closest friends, and she looked over.

"How have you been? What did you do for two months?"- she asked.

I bored her with the daily routines and sleep schedule of a 14-year-old.


"What about you?" - I asked. 

She told me how she went with her father to his company most days, and how hard she worked alongside him. By the end of the week, he'd give her a small amount of money. 

"That was my first salary, and it felt amazing to earn your own money" - I saw her face beaming with pride "I bought Chocolates for me and my sister with it".

"You know what, I'm gonna start my own business one day. I am going to earn millions, just you wait. I will be so successful, they're gonna make me a wax figure, just you wait" - she laughed, her usual boyish laughter blended in with the noises of the crowd. 

"Not before me, I'm going to be successful and have my own wax figure too. And I'll do it first" - My competitive spirit wouldn't let her have all the wonderful dreams.

"Oh really? Let's bet on it! Let's bet 50 rupees and see for ourselves. How about it? " - she asked

"Bring it on. 50 Rupees it is" - we shook hands and stood in the assembly line for a little while longer, smiling.

I saw her; 4 years later.

All dolled up, cameras on her pretty face. She wore red, her favorite color. She was smiling; a smile I didn't recognize.

I went up to the stage, hugged her, and wished her a Happy Married Life.

"So what business would you start?" I asked, fully knowing her reply.

"He doesn't want me to work. He says I can stay home and look after our kids," she said.

I remember the girl with the loud laughter, the fastest runner in my class, getting ready to go inside her soundproof cage.

"That sounds like a lovely life"- I lied, I didn't look into her eyes, "Take care, Jasmine"

I walked away, fighting the urge to look back at her.

I didn't remind her of our bet.

50 Rs for Me, a lifetime of dreams for her!





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