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The Dog advice

My dog barks all night! "Why won't you sleep at night?" - I ask, irritateted "Why don't you?" - he talks back Horrified, I sit back! He notices that I don't sleep at night too? Is he judging me?  "Why would I judge you?" - he says, reading my mind - I'm your dog! You could eat dirt and I'd still think you're the coolest person" That's a relief, although I might eat dirt infront of him to check if he's lying. I kind of have a problem with honest compliments... I worry if that's just plain lie. "So do you keep thinking about what life would be like after 10 years?" - he asked "Not tonight, I'm not" - I said "You think how everyone around you have it all figured out, and you just feel claustrophobic to even think about committing to something!" - he asked. "You shouldn't attack me like that at 2 am" - I said,my eyes tearing up. "You think you're a shell of a pers...
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Old Diaries

I re-read my old diary again. 
The diary I wrote when I was fighting cancer. Reading it felt so easy. Like it wasn't so bad. Because the way I wrote about things seemed subtle.
Sure I wrote about the pain, the medicines, the feeling of being left out.
But, I saw a girl, writing for a future she didn't know would be possible for her.
She didn't ask for love. 
She craved the simple things. 
For her to be out in the sun, to walk amid people without the fear of getting an infection that could risk her life. 
To feel the hair on her head.
To have her thick eyebrows back. 
Health and happiness is what she craved for.
I do now.
Sure. I have had my heart broken a few times. 
Happiness feels so far away a lot of the days. But at least I can walk in the sun, feel my hair, thread my eyebrows when they grow too thick. 
The pain-struck teenager with a disease, causing her too much suffering, wrote about an uncertain future. 
Will I get to do all of these things?- she wondered, crying at night.
Will the pain go away? Do I get friends that'll love me? Will I get to have a job? A dog? 
Oh, you naive, pure thing. You do.
Pain, like happiness often visits, stays, and places a kiss on your forehead and leaves. You'd miss her if she wasn't around. 
We need her around, not always, but we do. She teaches important lessons.
But you'll get to have 2 dogs of your own.
Both'll wag their tails when they hear the sound of your two-wheeler.Yes, you'll learn how to drive, don't be so surprised.
You'll land a small but good job, and work under a great senior, who'll remind you of your brother.
You'll make your money and buy the things you love with it.
You'll feel good even though your health takes a toll on you at times. 
Maybe the pain that I write down right now, will someday make my future-self smile with sympathy and love for the grieving 27-year-old.
A 27-year-old, who watches everyone around her falling in love, getting married, having babies, going on world tours, and thinking she's unlovable. The pain of spending time alone and no one to share the peculiar thoughts with. As I said, pain often visits. She didn't leave yet.
Maybe the pain-filled pages will turn when it's time.
Maybe I will find someone to truly love and be loved back. 
All the heartbreaks will teach me great things.
Maybe all will work out for me too.
What life teaches you, is to be patient.
Maybe it will work out.
Maybe it won't. 
I hope happiness stays a bit longer the next time.!

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